Please note: this review is for the 2012 season rather than the current season.
by majorXpsycho (Newbie Review Crew Member) after attending on Friday, October 12, 2012 at about 3 p.m.
Submitted: Saturday, October 13, 2012
Let's take a walk and explore one of Wisconsin's top rated Haunted attractions. The Burial Chamber is 4 Haunted attractions conveniently located right off of Hwy 41 in Neenah, WI. You cannot miss your exit as large spotlights illuminate the sky and draw you near. You know you have come to the right place, when all you can hear is the faint screams of victims between each loud thud of your heart beat. As you slowly draw near to the ticket line, you try to walk softly and unnoticed, but the creatures roaming the grounds smell the fear running through your veins. You try to blend in with the other humans waiting in line, but it is as if they have been waiting for your arrival. You stand still looking at the large lines of victims and wonder why so many people would willingly subject themselves to such horror. There is no time to wait and you have to decide, should I visit one of the attractions and pay $14, or can I make it through 2 of the attractions and pay $22? You think, perhaps I can do 3 attractions at $25, but if I survive all 3, why not visit the burial simulator for a total of $28? Just then you see the VIP or Fast Pass option and decide that for $34 dollars you can avoid the lengthy lines and maybe they will go "easy" on you. Then you hear a faint human voice in the distance state, "Thank goodness we bought our tickets online, as we can skip the wait for the ticket booth and head right to the house". Finally, you are on your way to wait your turn to enter inside one of the massive haunted attractions. Where should you go first?
As you begin to walk, you duck into the first line and can see the large words "Adrenaline" illuminating a death scene and smog. Since you chose to go VIP, you bypass several victims and before you can even register the fear that you are about to experience, you are at the door. A ghoul welcomes you, your watch illuminates the time ... 9:15pm. Just when you think this might not be so bad, the ghouls voice goes from sounding like a human to a deathly growl no person is capable of making. You have no time to reflect on the ghoul outside, as you soon find yourself inside Adrenaline. It is dark and you hear someone in front of you yell, "Please don't make me go first". You grab the person in front of you and proceed slowly through a dimly lit scene of death. There is no sign of human life and all you can hear are screams, horror music and loud bangs. The floor sinks, ghouls appear from every angle, and these are not actors. There is no way theatrical costumes and makeup could make a person look like that! Before your mind has time to register what just jumped out at you, there is another "in your face, unexpected scare". You try to be brave, but a yelp escapes every time. You move quickly to avoid what just made you jump, but they are everywhere and they don't stop. Your heart beats faster and you start to doubt if you can handle any more intense scares, but there is no way out. You see a door and you think you are on your way out, but then you find yourself going in circles through one bloody scene after the other. You are back in the same room, and this time, you try a different door, but you find yourself again in the same room. You think to yourself, "I am trapped, I want to get out". Finally, you have made some progress, but the scares don't stop. They drop from above you and almost land on your head, you find yourself amidst a deathly war zone and poisonous gas surrounds you. A dead soldier spots you, he is angry and wants revenge, shots are being fired right at you. When you manage to escape unharmed the lights go in and out and all you can see is some creature with long black hair hiding in the corner. The lights go out and come on again and you look to where she was and she is gone, where did she go? How do you get out? Suddenly, the lights come on and you see she is almost at your feet. You run for an opening, and as you run a fence drops above you and ghouls surround you. You keep running and finally you are out, you are alive and try to catch your breath. You look at your watch ... 9:32pm ... what seemed like it lasted many intense hours was 17 minutes. Perhaps your watch is broken, because it felt like an eternity. You wait for your heart to calm and your hands to stop shaking and then see what seems like a beautiful woods.
As you walk closer you see there is an entrance to the woods, it illuminates the words "Phobia". You remember not being as scared in the woods in the past, so perhaps this will give you time to get yourself together. You are back in the VIP line to Phobia and a tall monster decides to entertain you with jokes and kindness, but his face was so gross and his size unreal. It is 9:38pm and a ghoul guides you as a countdown is displayed on a computer screen. 3 ... 2... 1 and you are in! The woods is very dimly lit, so you walk cautiously. You can hear a real dog barking in the background, he doesn't sound happy. What does he see that you do not? Just then, you realize you are being followed. You look to your left and there is someone or something there, to your right there is another and don't look up it is there too. A bright light goes off and for a split second you see their faces, they are horrific even in the light. You are seeing spots from the bright flash and your vision attempts to adjust as you are still moving forward. Things seem to calm down and you have a moment to just walk in the pure dark woods. Just then, some creature is dragging itself on the ground and is coming for your feet, a HUGE Jackal is keeping you trapped, you move forward an finally are safe again. Another bright flash goes off and before you can get your bearings, you see a contortionist ghoul, it can't be human. No human can manipulate their body in such a way, it reminds you of the possessed humans you have only seen in the exorcist movies. Moving foward you encounter cousin Festis, he jumps out at you and pushes his gun to you, luckily for you it misfires, but he keeps trying and you move fast to get away. You think you see the end, and then you hear it ... "a loud chainsaw" in the distance, the smell of gas surrounds you and before anyone can say "watch out", he is in your face and you must run or be slaughtered. You catch your breath a realize that you ran fast enough, but where did the people behind you go? As you look down, you see the time ... 9:50pm. Again, it felt like you were walking the woods for miles, not 12 minutes. At this point, your stomach is grumbling, and you feel sick from the fear you have had to endure for the past 35 minutes.
Ahead you see several concession stands offering warm doughnuts, hot cocoa, calzones, pretzels, Halloween treats and much, much more. You try the warm doughnuts and after your stomach settles you decide you can handle one more haunted attraction. You walk past a long line of humans waiting for what you believe to be the next attraction. Out of curiosity you ask those near the front of the line "how long have you been waiting?" The nervous female responded about 40 minutes. The human's standing in line all displayed different actions of fear. Some were blankly staring, others nervously laughed, and some found comfort in their lovers embrace attempting to avoid the monsters that lurked the lines.
You look up and see another deathly scene that illuminated the word, "Insanity". You can't help but stare at the ghostly face of the thing taking your tickets. Every detail was perfect, not a single sign of human flesh was exposed. This clearly was not a human. At this point you realize that the name "insanity" is very fitting as you would have to be insane to put yourself through the torture of yet ANOTHER haunted attraction. You look at your watch ... 10:01. You enter and find yourself at the back of a dark, deep, filthy closet. You have to keep moving forward, but the walls and the ceiling begin to close in on you and those around you worry that you may not make it, perhaps you went the wrong way? You see an opening and you finally make it out. As you look at the scenes, something is touching your leg ... you try to move away and see what it is, but all you can see is the crazy scene of ghouls, bodies, guts and blood. Again, in the darkness, something below keeps touching you. You begin to think you are losing your mind because there is nothing there. You cannot grasp reality because the ghouls are making strange noises that are not that of a person. Their faces are so real and the scenes reek of death. You go from room to room, and each one is as detailed and just as gruesome and twisted as the last. Just then you panic as you realize a deathly ghost is really sawing into a human leg and the blood soaks you! You think to yourself, "this is not real, this can't really be happening". You can barely walk as the walls around you are moving, so you hold on tight and try to not to fall. When you think you have caught your bearings, you are trapped trying to push your way through a wall. You know that sounds crazy, "how does one push their way THROUGH a wall"?! Another creature lurks on the floor and appears behind you, the walls come to life and a huge man is eating the flesh of toddlers. You can not distinguish what is real, from what is not real. Just when you feel as though you have completely lost it, an insane clown makes certain to take all of your sanity. You exit the haunted attraction; look down at your watch ... 10:21pm. Slowly, you and your friends try to grasp reality and find your vehicle. Everyone is dumbfounded and there is silence as you attempt to reflect on what just happened over the past hour and a half. Just then, your alarm goes off and you wake up. Whew, it was all just a nightmare ... right?